"Hoopla"

Why why WHY do political parties have to engage in what is sometimes known as “hoopla” at their campaign launches?

Does anyone at all enjoy these? Is there anyone who does not find them toe-curlingly embarrassing?

Labour, I gather, has appropriated a number of Flying Nun band tunes for its launch. It’s a bid to make the party seem funky and fashionable.

COME ON. This is a room full of people who have devoted most of their lives to backroom scheming and COMMITTEES, for crying out loud.

THEY ARE NOT FUN PEOPLE.

National, at its recent launch, seemed to pledge itself to a New Zealand tolerant of diversity, where Neil Diamond fans can express their preferences without fear of mockery.

They may be ahead of the rest of the country in this. (not that I’m being anti-Neilist here – ‘Solitary Man’ was my personal theme song between 1993 and 1997).

And at least it wasn’t someone truly evil like Phil Collins or Michael Bolton.

In either the 1987 or 1990 campaigns National had the Yandall Sisters singing, to the tune of ‘Walking on Sunshine’,  ‘Voting for Bolger’.

it was fingernails down a blackboard stuff. Not the quality of the singing itself: just the fact that someone’s brain was so badly wired they thought this thought of thing was worthwhile – that it might actually HELP.

I mean, how? and WHY???

Is there one person on the planet who genuinely finds this sort of thing fun?

It’s awful, hideous, abominable.

it makes you feel tainted even watching it on the teev.

It doesn’t gain votes. It doesn’t really rev up the party faithful, who play along dutifully but though clenched smiles.

IT DOESN’T FOOL ANYONE.

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