Of paper shufflers, Kiwi Music, and not worrying about Daggy Boy

Ele at Home Paddock responds to a comment from – who else? – Cactus Kate about what farmers think of paper shufflers. The comment is in the context of NZX buying a bunch of farming publications and the reasons for doing so.

I won’t comment on that – much – because I’m too close to some of this stuff. But here’s a – true – story which illustrates the point fairly well.

A colleague, also from a farm, told me this one – as a child she was with her dad at his run-off in the King Country when the new bank manager called in (the fact he even did this dates the story). The bloke turns up in his suit, introduces himself, and is really putting on the smarm a bit. He gets asked what he does with is spare time and volunteers the fact he likes a bit of shooting. Farmer’s eyes light up. “Really? There’s some good shooting around here. You want to do some now?” And before the bank manager has time to say yes or no a 12 bore is pressed into his hands. The farmer also quickly convinces him the best place to shoot from is from the Landrover. Not from the cab though. Or the back.

No – sitting on the spare tyre which sits on the bonnet. The bank manager is perched precariously in his suit on this dusty tyre: the farmer hops into the cab, puts his daughter (my future colleague, the one who told me this story) into the passenger seat. Revs up the engine. And whispers to his daughter: “watch me make this little ******** **** himself.”

I seriously think it should be our National Anthem.  There’s a self-satirising under-current, which is good, and a national anthem with this would be unique.


Hell, we could even lead the world!

It’s also bloody true, I feel. 

One important change to the lyrics in the 1998 version, and one which showed that economically things had turned around – the 1975 original version had a line about:  

“If things get appallingly bad 
We all get atrociously poor 
If we stand in the queue with our hats on 
We can borrow a few million more.”  

The 1998 version replaced this with the line:  
“If things get appallingly bad 
We’re all under constant attack 
Remember we want to see good clean ball 
And for God’s sake, feed yer backs!”  

At the moment, of course, we’d have to reinstate the ’75 version…


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